Good evening readers. First of all, I wish to congratulate you all on your immense stamina for lasting through what could be considered the lengthiest event in all Stardoll history. Black Beauty AKA Conscious Dolls Night (pick just one name, will you?) dragged on for a whole 13 hours -- yes, you read that right THIRTEEN hours. In this space of time, one could enjoy such vast luxuries as experiencing
the world's longest flight (with an hour to spare) but no - we all scrambled to rubberneck what could have been a glorious and empowering event, but sadly fizzled as the opposite.
Given the fact that the event went on for so long, you would imagine that allowed time for some show-stopping looks to snatch the spotlight; well, you would be wrong. The hideously decorated red carpet featured a plethora of raggedy gowns, child-like face paints, and whacky sub-references to an already painfully drab theme of "African Culture".
To add a little background before we begin, the "Conscious Dolls Night" event, also titled "Black Beauty" was originally created to celebrate the exceptional presence of Stardoll's POC users. Such a celebration would be magnificent, if only it weren't overshadowed by sub-par planning and bad taste.
I was hoping to pull together an uplifting "best dressed" list for this event, but after seeing the shenanigans which were posted during, I changed my mind. Read on to see my personal least favourite looks from the main show...
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| CHANEL TAYLOR |
If your first instinct when given the theme "african culture" is to show up looking like a haphazard Alicia Keys drag tribute, then you may want to ask yourself if being out in public is right for you. This bizarre look had literal ??? symbols appear around my head. There's a quote by Coco Chanel that reads “Before you leave the house, look in the mirror and take one thing off.” - well my advice to this girl is; before you leave the house, just stay home.
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| JESS POYNTER |
I'll be the first to admit that throughout my career I have made numerous questionable fashion choices, but never would I dream of wearing THOSE shoes with THAT length dress. I have several problems with this look, the major one being that the main material of the dress looks like it came from a 99¢ roll of fabric found in the reductions bin of a back ally textiles store. The unnecessary abundance of ruffled layers in various shades of "ugly" adds an even more gruesome flare to the whole ensemble. And don't even get me started on the hair.
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| JULIA ANDERSON |
Ah, yellow - the colour of regret - an emotion I'm sure miss Julia felt in waves as she saw this monstrosity presented to hundreds of onlookers. At first I wondered if the bottoms to this were pants or a skirt, I then realised I don't care. The belt feels out of place, as does the whole look. Also, clock how miss thing had the nerve to wear no shoes to an event - reckless? Stupid.
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| ROZALIA |
There comes a time when searching for a look that you cave and say "fuck it, I'll just wear a black dress", and I have no doubt in my mind that's exactly the point Rozalia found herself at. This is lazy, unflattering, irrelevant, and dusty. The unnecessary jewellery, tattoos, and tangle of pink braids rounds off this look as a real, authentic mess.
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| SARA SIENNA |
The texture of this coat reminds me of those torn canvas paintings you find stacked up in the back of a redneck garage sale, do you feel me? Many things about this look cause me pain, but the true kill-shot was the fact she chose those boots -- if you're covering the knee, don't cover the ankle. I also wish I never noticed the un-coordinated choker, which takes this look from bad to even worse.
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| STEFFANY JANUARIO |
It seems that block colours were a trend for those less fortunate at CDN, and this girl truly outdid the rest. A pillar box red belted jumpsuit could quite honestly be the worst choice for any occasion, ever. To wear such a ferociously busted ensemble truly takes some courage, so props to miss Steffany for saying "NO!" to all the good thoughts in her mind and sticking to her poorly structured instincts.
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| VIRIDIANA GONZALES |
First of all, someone tell me how her size 0.004 feet are supporting the weight of such a disastrously made lead-looking cape? This girl defied all rules of science and relativity itself to deliver what can only be described as a shapeless shambles. To me, it seems, Viridiana woke up 10 minutes before the event, tore the sheer curtain from the window of her Air BnB apartment, threw on her yonic blanket and said "Let's go!". Honourable mention to the floating piece of jewellery on her forehead.
I could go on, but I prefer to not drain the life from every member of the Stardoll community just yet. My advice to you all is, Stardoll Couture Fashion Week is right around the corner, think twice before you pay for that off-the-rack wreck you have planned.
Until next time...
Jailer xx
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